Uncle Richard

(A little out of posting order, but a priority)

7/17/1943 ~ 9/6/2012
JOHN RICHARD EVANS, the one-of-a-kind light in our lives has gone to light up a whole new room and dimension. People that have long missed his vibrant, infectious spirit are enjoying him once again. Richard started his new role on Thursday September 6, 2012.
Richard first graced this earth on July 17, 1943 arriving in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Soon after that he made his mark on Ogden Utah growing up there and graduating from Ogden High School. While at Ogden High School he met, then later married his high school sweetheart Jelaire "Jill" Sparrow. Together they continued their education at Weber State College and started a family and an amazing legacy in Murray, Utah. Richard and Jill were a couple that couldn't be stopped until his sweetheart succumbed to cancer 1986. Richard was always a person who could attract the best people around him and that proved to be true once again when he met a woman who loved him unconditionally and recognized a truly special man. Richard married Janice Dunoskovic who supported him on every level and stood by his side right to his last moment on earth.
Murray, Utah would never be the same after his arrival. Richard's impact on his community was an unmatched example of giving back. As a true entrepreneurial risk-taker, Richard left his teaching profession to start two Murray staple businesses, New Concept Furniture and Take Five Drive In. Even while taking on the task of two thriving businesses, he always found time to serve. Richard was an irreplaceable member of the Murray Rotary Club where he served a term as president and enjoyed the projects accomplished with his good friends. Service Above Self was not only a Rotary Club monicker but a life he lived. His service was also evident with many LDS church callings, as well as appointments to boards and commissions by multiple Murray Mayors.
As a family man Richard also shined like no other. Starting out as a big brother to his sister, Kathy Everts, and his brother David (Nancy) Evans , also a wonderful husband who adores his wife (Janice) and an amazing father to Jeff, Stephanie (Tony Spiers) and Andy. Later, the ultimate grandfather was always there for his magnificent seven Nathan, Hailey, Sean, Cameron, Sarah, Jelaire and Isabelle. In addition, family man was always extended to those that came into his life because he made them feel that way.
Services to celebrate our dear man will start Monday September 10th with a viewing at the Jenkins-Soffe Funeral Chapel, 4760 South State Street, Murray, Utah from 5pm until 8pm, and also Tuesday 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the church. Funeral services will be held on Tuesday September 11th, 12 noon, at the Murray Utah South Stake Center, 5735 South Fashion Blvd., Murray, Utah. Richard will be laid to rest next to his high school sweetheart at the Murray City Cemetery.
The family wishes to express thanks for all the love and support shown for us and the man we will greatly miss. In lieu of flowers put $20 on Utah over BYU.

Uncle Richard & my Mom, May 2012 at my home

I wanted to write some happenings and thoughts as this is close to my heart, and I want to remember - my dear Uncle Richard passed away on Thursday September 6, 2012 at around 1:50pm.  David and I were privileged to be there at that time and through the before and after.

A week earlier, Friday August 31 I got a call from my David.  Uncle David had been trying to get a hold of my mom as Rich was in the hospital from a fall.  I tried calling her too, but then called Steph and found out Uncle Richard was walking his normal path from bedroom to kitchen and fell near the front entryway and hit his head on the glass door.  Luckily Steph convinced him to the ER where they found a huge blood clot so they removed and drained as they could.  We took the little girls so that Andy could be at the hospital that evening (they're so cute by the way).  And then the next day we got to the ICU and had dinner with everyone.  We spent the next several days at the hospital going back and forth from the 5th floor to the Cafeteria.  We'd watch neighbors and other extended family stop in to visit, and we'd also spend lots of time in the hospital's consultant room that our family had pretty much taken over in to sleep, chat, cry, etc.  The whole extended family joined in with us to fast for him on Sunday.  It was feeling very comfortable to hang out at the hospital.  And while it was a horrible reason to be there, I actually enjoyed being able to have daily contact with loved ones during this sucky time.  And we did say that a lot - This Sucks!

Before getting to the ER that first day, Uncle Richard was awake and alert (and not wanting to see a Doctor) but after arriving he passed out and they performed surgery after seeing the clot in the CT scan.  After the surgery, really all we needed was to wait for him to wake up.  They said it could be a day or two.  But, the days rolled by and while he was there peacefully, he didn't ever wake up. The prognosis wasn't good and while he seemed to still be here, he wasn't fully here and there's no way he'd want to stay like that.

During it all, I think many of us, or at least I really just thought, that if we gave it a few days, all would be well.  Richard has pulled out of so many of these situations where the doctors aren't too positive.  I tried not to think about anything else, but as the days passed, reality kept being brought up.  I watched Aunt Jan, his wife, a lot over those days.  It breaks my heart still as I think of her so often these days.  She would express how much she loves him, he's her best friend, and would tell him not to go.  And Jan is amazing even as his health has gone down over the last few years, she has stood by his side basically every hour the past several years.  She did everything for him and always tried to get him back up to good health, what a caregiver she has been.  And of course she still wanted him back and wanted to take care of him for years to come if needed.

Wednesday 9/5 we left the hospital that evening after Uncle David arrived and we knew that it wouldn't be much longer.  The doctors didn't have good news and even if Rich woke up, he wouldn't be there really as he wouldn't remember how to talk, walk, or anything.  We all knew Rich wouldn't want any of that, there's no way even that he wanted to be there in a coma for much longer.  The decision was I'm sure one of the hardest ever, and as we watched and supported the family, we could feel the sadness knowing that he would be gone soon, but through it all there have been many blessings all along the way which have brought peace.  Uncle Richard had health problems the last couple years, but for almost the last year, he's been doing better.  He was good enough to take the Evans on a cruise before Nate left on his mission, and he went out and did things with them rather than being too sick.  He and Jan had a few trips/vacations on their own or with rotary or family as well this year.  It was mentioned that Richard had felt that he needed to get his life in order, spiritually, and so he did just that this year and as a few people have said, he felt ready to leave this earth if he needed.  During just his last few weeks, Steph and Jan had done everything they could and done it right.  They got him to the ER and spent every night with him.  They wouldn't be able to say "I wish" because they did it all.  And Richard hit his head hard enough that he wouldn't wake up, so sad, and yet, a blessing that he wouldn't live such a life not knowing how to do the most basic things. 

Thursday morning we got a text that we needed to say our goodbyes, so David left a job interview and I left work to rush to the hospital.  Really, all week I had held Uncle Richard's hand, arm, gave a kiss on his head, or even told him that he needed toe maintenance (as he used to check mine when I'd visit) ha.  Saying goodbye was hard but I'd been doing it all week just in case, but that day I still gave him a quick squeeze and let him know I'd see him in heaven in awhile.  And his whole family (besides Nate on a mission) was able to do that and have a personal goodbye with him.  It was very special and a nice way to wait until everyone was ready, or as ready as they could be.  We joined the family of Evans' and his siblings and relatives as we had a last prayer before they came in to take him off of the oxygen and help him pass away, very peacefully.  Rich was able to have his whole family around for his last minutes, watching him and telling him how much they loved him, what a blessing.  It gets me to tears writing it now.  But it was a special experience I will never forget.  Still so sad, and yet, knowing that he is where he needed to be gave us comfort.  I also knew that there were family members, angels, who had already passed away that were in that room with him and us.  As LDS members, we are happy to know that someday his and our family will be together again in heaven.  That as we do our best to live our life as Jesus would, that we can make it through the next years without Rich, and see him again with all of the many lost loved ones already. 

I feel sure that the Evans' family will grow even closer together and support each other through this trial. I hope those who are a little further away (my mom, my uncle David, and cousins) will also feel comforted and find peace through the sadness.  Oh, and a side blessing: the Utes won their game the weekend after Richard passed away. Those who "put $20 on the Utah over BYU" may have lucked out, as well as we've contemplated that maybe Rich was there and during those last few seconds, he was sure not to let BYU get that field goal :)

Uncle Richard will be missed immensely.  He really made a mark here, Murray City loved him, everyone who met him knew his name forever and he just stuck out in a good way.  He lit up a room.  He'd ask you all about what you were up to or where you worked, or even what you made, and even if it was too personal he may have asked because he cared but also may be joking around with you.  He joked a lot and you just had to smile when you were around him.  And he had a funny side, but he also had a giving side.  I knew he did a lot in the community and at church, but I heard many stories from family and at the funeral that I had no idea about.  He served without recognition, and touched many lives.  My house is furnished with a ton of his furniture from New Concept Furniture (and his recent visit to my house he had no idea that he did that, maybe Jan did it, but either way, it was fun as he looked at our couch and said he liked it and it seemed familiar, haha, it had been passed around a bit).  He was a great business man, and I always looked up to him that way.  I actually chose my major because of him.  And at one point I remember being asked who I looked up to career wise, and I wrote a paper about it being him.  Every Utah visit growing up was spent at NCF and Take-Five.  (I miss those places too still)  Rich or Jan would come out and have lunch with us and show us around the back of both stores.  And then I moved to Utah and spent a summer working under Andy at Take-Five, and saw them all of course a little more than twice a year.  Moving to Utah meant that I moved away from my parents and siblings, but I was quickly welcomed into a new family.  The Evans and Speirs invited me to everything.  From Provo, I didn't make it to it all, but then when I moved to Murray, I was a lot closer and had more opportunities.  Uncle Richard was always so welcoming and giving that way.  He may not like this, but thinking about it, maybe he was a little like a "young" grandpa to me.  Ah, okay Rich, or still an Uncle, but a close Uncle.  (I didn't get to know my real ones much as they were gone before I was here or passed away when I was young).  The memories have flooded back to me - from when I was very young at their old home playing in the backyard or in the basement with all of his big kid toys (ski ball, pinball machines, a jukebox, etc.), to swimming at their current home and him throwing quarters or silver dollars in the pool for us all to find, or even going to his old NCF baseball games when we'd visit.  He was silly.  And just plain cool.

After his passing the Evans crew were busy with funeral arrangements.  I know it was hard on them all, and my Mom and Uncle David were there to help support them through it all.  Saturday I received a call from Steph asking if my sis-in-law, Amanda, and I would sing a duet with my Mom playing the piano at the funeral.  I said yes without thinking, but then afterwards I wondered if I'd be able to even make it through the song.  Eric and Amanda came up to Utah and stayed with us (bonus!), and we had a day to practice, and we did it.  We found a song, practiced and sounded as good as we could.  I didn't need (okay, want) to participate in the program, I'd have been just fine, but I sang for Jan and my cousins and for Rich.  But I tried not to think about it while singing or I'd tear up.  I was nervous but made it through thanks to Amanda.  The rest of the funeral was beautiful.  It was short, but full of wonderful memories and a great tribute.  There was a big crowd, and an even bigger crowd at the viewing.  The line there was 45 min. but there were all of his mementos and pictures to browse through and bring back those fun memories of a full life that Richard had.  He was only 69, but he lived big.  The burial service was very sweet as we watched each family member take a pen and write their last words to their Dad, Grandpa, Brother, Uncle, Cousin, and Friend.  (He was buried in a vault that allowed for this)  Those who participated in the funeral all together did wonderful.  It was great to hear Jeff, Hailey, Steph, and Andy as they gave tributes to Rich through word or song - I'm sure Richard is proud.

While it was a sucky two weeks, there were little blessings along the way.  Its taken me a week or so to even be able to write this, but I wanted to remember that through these hard times, we can make it through with the Lord.  Those little blessings came from above and I hope those angels will bring more and more so the Evans can continue to be comforted.  Richard knows he's loved and missed.  I know we'll get to see him again someday, but until then, lets all just come a little closer to those we love.  Tell them we love them and show it through service.  And be a little silly, enjoy life as it is, because soon enough we will have made it through and get to be with our families again someday.

(The corndogs were right after his passing, a lunch out and a tribute to him as they were his most requested meal as of recent)